Ok. So i decided to write in a blog because I think that will help me to handle my problems of my daily life.
First of all I'm not an outraging person or anything like that. I would describe myself as a average teenager with probably the same problems tons of others have.
right now there are a few probelms going on.
My boyfriend....or most likely my ex
my dreams and plans for my futures
my friends and my dad.
im not sure how much i should say about myself, because I dont want any of my friends to find out about this...
So first of all I've learned tooons of things about guys this year.just the way they act, talk, write and communicate with you. And i have talked to a couple of friends about this already, but they are gone, so I can't talk to them right now.
BOYS CAN NOT COMMUNICATE! very important thing i have learned. Just a few guys are actually capable to keep a good, decent conversation.
Here just an example of an standard conversation between me and my ex:
Me: Hey :)
ex: hi
me: how are you?
ex: good
(awkward break because i expectedhim to ask me...)
me: what are you up to?
ex: im with my friend
me: oh cool. what are you doing?
ex: playing xbox
(more awkward silence)
me: so what have you been doing today?
ex: sleep, eat, sleep, friend
( then i mostly got the point where i thought, fuck you!! and i didnt respond anymore)
5-10 minutes later ex: gotta go. bye
and that is pretty much how most of the guys have conversations. mostly over txting, facebook or anything electronical.
And it's like, WHY the hell can't they answer right? Am I not not important enough? Am I annoying? Am i trying too much?
And the answer is: No you probably didnt do anything wrong ( exept you might txt over and over again eventhough he didnt respond). They are boys and stupid! they dont know how to have decent conversation, all they have is there little small talk and guy to guy talking with their buddies. Im not saying its not their fault that they respond crappy like that, but if you are pissed of by this, and im pretty sure you are, tell them! tell them crystal clear how you feel and what you want them to change about it.Dont just sit there and get frustrated. just be honest! and dont be ashamed of it either, feelings are important to talk about in a relationship. And that builds up on trust for each other.
so to go back to my story, I had that problem. A lot. and it really really got on my nerves. so i told him and it got better for a while, but then i also have to say that my boyfriend was from another country that i stayed at for one school year and it was almost the end. that was what made even more frustrated that he wouldnt try to have a good converstaion or talk to me enough.
but yeah we kinda got all that together and then summer break started. he had to go and visit his family and i stayed for a little bit longer where i was.
i was very surprised when he called me once. i mean because of all the backround about him and his communicating with me, i did not expect that at all. and it was very cute. we talked for a while and he sayed that he missed me and that he loves blablabla all this sweet stuff. he had given me his adress so i had written him a letter, that he hadnt gotten at that point yet. but i told him about it and he seemed happy that i was thinking about him too and sayed he will respond right away. i had written a 2 and a half pages letter to him and all i got back was 80% of a page. ive gotta tell you that was a real bamer. but anyways i ignored this fact and wrote him another one. i wrote that one on my last night in this country and i was very emotional because i had to leave a lot people that became really close to me and i didnt really wanted to leave the country. so i wrote a lot emotional stuff in it blabla. and we had decided that we were gonna break up, because it just really doesnt make any sense to keep up a relationship when you are 5000 miles apart and dont even know when you gonna see each others again. but none of us changed anything on facebook and when we were talking on the phone we still sayed i love you and everything...
then i got to talk to him 2 days ago again. he went online at some friends house and again we had this really bad conversation going on and then he aske about the relationship and what we are gonna do about it. i sayed i dont know and he sayed: well lets just get over it now. there is no reason.
i know that he was true , but just the way he sayed it... seemed like it was so easy for him... so i changed it back, but he didnt! he still has in a realtionship and i feel dumb now. kinda. what is that supposed to mean? why isnt he just changing it back too? what is that about? i mean he started to talk about it and then he didnt even do it... weird how facebook can confuse as so much.
but the biggest dump,shit,poop whatever was when i looked on his wall.
bitches all over the places telling him how much they miss him and he answered them he misses them too!! and he posted on TWO girls walls that he got their letters and that they were sweet. wow wtf! he is such a freaking douche bag. and now im pissed. but that makes it way easier for me to get over him. hedoesnt deserve me that asshole. i dont say that because i think im the greatest but i have enough niveau to not do that right after a break up.
that is one thing that keeps me up right now.
next ones are about to follow soon
